Confessions . . .

I have a confession to make. However, I must preface it by first explaining the depth of love that I have both for my family and for Christmas, in order to more clearly reveal how out of character this sort of confession is for me.

I have an older brother and two younger sisters, as well as a mom and dad who have been married for over 25 years now (all the more incredible to me because of all of the hard times I've seen them walk through together). I am passionate about my family, and the older I get (and the less I see them), the more I long for holidays . . . and times to be close to them. As a teenager, I remember yearning for the day when I would finally be released . . . sure that I would only come home out of necessity (and for very short periods of time). Now, my senior year of college, I find myself going home more often than I have in any of the previous three years . . . and milking the hours that I get to spend in conversation with my parents or my youngest sister . . . or anyone at home. I've learned the value of intimacy, and how vulnerability only comes at such an intensely great price. That has taught me to value my family, because they know me. They REALLY know me . . . the dirt and the ugliness as well as the smiles and the joys. And still they love me. And I'm so thankful for that.

I also love Christmas . . . not only because it means time spent with my family, but because it means time spent re-orienting my life. I find holidays, specifically those that are centered on Christ, very valuable in my life. They are a time of reflection . . . to look back over the past year, to look back over past holidays, and to remember the good things that the Lord has done, the hard things that He has pulled me through, and the faithfulness by which He leads and guides me through it all. Additionally, holidays are a time of rest. Not just physical rest, but a time where I can quiet my heart . . . and in that place, find the space to really look at my value system: to see the way that I am orienting my prorities according to the things that I spend my time on. In that way, I am able to realign myself with Christ by weeding out those things that I am prioritizing that I don't truly value, and hopefully investing more in those things I do value. What do I value? Investing in His Kingdom . . . where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves cannot break in and steal. His Kingdom of love, of righteousness, peace, and joy. Of establishing His glory in my land through loving His people with all of my gifts and talents and time. And through this, I am able to exalt Christ during the Christmas season . . . by remembering Him, by looking forward, by telling him in that place of quietness of heart, "Jesus, I love you. Even more than last year . . . forever."

All that said, my confession: I'm excited for Christmas break to be over (and it hasn't even started yet), because I'm SOO excited to start teaching!! I know . . . that's weird.